When You Do Your Best and It Still Isn't Enough
You gave it everything you had to give, poured your heart and soul into the project, marriage, job, whatever and it still failed...
Now What?
First off, not sure if this will make you feel better or worse, but I've been there!
Believe me, I know firsthand the pain and agony of defeat and the embarrassment, as well.
All I can say is, "this too shall pass." Sure, I know, it will pass like a bad case of gas from the spiciest of Mexican foods but it will pass!
I learned many years ago, that it's not so much the failure that hurts the most, although, believe me, it does hurt. It's really the fall out, from the failure that brings us the most pain.
If you, for instance, had a seemingly good marriage go south, then you more than likely, have to deal with the family dynamics of the divorce. Children and pets to be divied up, along with the real estate and possessions. In laws, outlaws to face and attempt to explain, "what went wrong," to them.
Sucks, I know.
Even worse or maybe almost as bad, is losing a business. For one, you have to listen to all of the "I told you so's" from well meaning friends and family members. Shit, who wants to face that crap, not me however, once again... I can relate.
Been there, done that too!
Did I ever tell you about the million dollar plus, fishing resort I bought in B.C. Canada? No, well, suffice it to say that I now call it, "My Last Resort."
I'm writing a book on that experience.
(My Canadian Adventure)
So, my point in sharing those few examples above is so that you'll understand, we all make mistakes and all of us can grow from them and through them.
I did and I still am, making both mistakes and growing from them.
You know, I've come to the conclusion that when you're a risk taker, a rebel, a living on the edge type of person, you just have to learn to fail faster and pick yourself up a little quicker, each time.
What happens when you do your best and it still isn't enough to salvage the situation? You get out, move on and get past all of it, as quick as possible.
The one thing that I've learned from coaching thousands of clients and by my own experiences, is to not dwell in the problem any longer than necessary.
Some people love to wallow, gain sympathy and basically, become the victim of the circumstance. Don't do it! I know it's tempting to wallow but don't do it, it's a trap.
Once you place yourself in the "poor, pitiful me, I'm a victim" role, there's no getting out.
Your friends, co-workers and family members will begin to think of you as a victim, a sad sack and someone who didn't quite, "cut the mustard."
You'll begin to ask yourself questions such as, "what the fuck is wrong with me and why can't I get anything to work?"
Your self pride is already gonna be injured because of the loss so don't make it any worse by piling a bunch of "woe is me," crap on top of the open wound!
Seriously, stop it!
You risked, you did your best, you failed, you learned, you grew so get up off of the mat and get on with your next grand adventure!
(My Australian Adventure)
Sitting stuck in the muck, will only make you second guess all aspects of your life; instead of just compartmentalizing and focusing on the ONE thing that went wrong.
Wallowing, will soon have you believing that EVERYTHING has gone wrong, for your entire life.
Not true!
Stick with the facts of this one situation, and do your best, not to cause this one hiccup to bring up all the other stuff from your past.
When you've done your best and it still wasn't good enough.
Ask yourself a few questions:
1) Could I have done anything differently and if I had, would it have changed the outcome?
2) What part did I play in this situation?
3) Have I learned from this experience?
4) Is there anyway that I can turn this shit sandwich into something positive?
5) How fast can I move past this and get on with my life?
6) Should I seek professional assistance?
7) 5 years from now, will I still fuss about this outcome?
To summarize, pick yourself up, brush yourself off and start all over again!
I know you'll do better next time, never give up on you!
~ Lisa
