Often times in life, we have to make tough choices and difficult decisions and those choices we make ultimately, carve out our future. How many times have you looked back and thought to yourself, “if only I had made a better choice” because you realize, the decision you made, way back when, has now affected you in a detrimental way?
Of course, we can all identify and as they say…hind sight is 20/20.
Moving past indecision takes effort and practice!
How can we lessen costly and painful mistakes? How do we make the “correct” decision in the moment in order to avoid the agonizing repercussions days, weeks, months and possibly years down the road?
Is the answer to remove the “emotions” from the equation, when making tough decisions?
When emotions are high, tempers tend to flare and many times, reasonable thought processes aren’t taking place because we are in the heat of the moment. So, is it better to take a “clinical” approach to decision making and remove the emotions altogether, is that even possible?
Science has proven that upwards of 95% of all decisions we make, are made emotionally and this decision making and “in the moment approach,” is directly related to survival and our “fight or flight” responses.
This is a huge benefit, if you are in the woods and about to be lunch for a hungry grizzly bear but not so beneficial, if you’re attempting to make a decision about your career or a personal relationship issue. Medical science has also proven that nearly all of us are “poor thinkers” and we make poor decisions, most of the time.
Wow, it’s time for us to better learn how to control our emotions so that we can then make more positive, well-thought out choices and decisions.
After all, we’re talking about potentially altering the course of our lives, our very destiny. Each and every time we make a choice, we’re literally setting the wheels of our fate in motion.
Making mistakes is part of the growing process and sometimes, you make the best decision that you’re able in the moment and still it comes back to bite you, years down the road. The key is to recognize that you can take all the correct steps to facilitate a good outcome however there will be times, when you’ll just have to “roll with the punches” and give yourself an “A” for effort.
Here are a few suggestions to implement to assist you in making better decisions:
Take a deep breath and count to ten or twenty. How are you feeling? Your body can be an “error free guide” to give you clues as to how you’re handling the situation. Is your heart racing, are your palms sweaty, are you talking loud or perhaps even yelling? Focus on calming yourself prior to making any moves or decisions.
Gather as many facts as possible prior to taking action.There’s an old adage, “emotions cause people to act and logic causes people to think.” The goal is to stay in control and rise above the situation as much as possible, so as to see the “birds-eye perspective.” In other words, think before you act!
Visualize the outcome you desire to experience. Prior to having the conversation with your boss or loved one, see the conclusion in your mind’s eye. Weigh your options and follow the vision to the end result. In other words, “if I do this, here’s my outcome but if I do that…the result is this.” Visualize yourself calmly stating the facts, offering your thoughts or feelings and doing so in a calm, matter of fact way.
Maintain your “emotional posture.” Recognize the feelings of panic or neediness that may crop up for you when decision time comes around. Posture up and maintain your personal power which comes from conjuring up strong feelings of self-love, self-respect and a confident sense of “self-assuredness.” You may have to speak to yourself internally and ask this question, “If I were a busy, successful and confident person, what would my decision be?” Think of a person whom you admire, respect and consider to be a leader then “pretend you are them,” how would they handle this situation, what would they say, how would they respond?
Make the decision. Indecisiveness is a sure-fire way to invite others to take advantage of you or to possibly even manipulate you and to feed on your emotional instability. When faced with a decision; weigh your options, gather the facts available, take a deep breath and make the best decision possible – the worst thing you can do, is avoid making a decision because of fear or insecurity.
You deserve to make happy, healthy choices for your own life; after all, you’re the only one who can make the final decision on what is best for you so move past indecision and start living…today!!